Graffiti
by MyForbiddenDestiny
Summary: It’s the Queen’s Chair’s birthday tomorrow. Eh? You don’t even know who that is? The Ice Queen? No? Hinamori Amu’s best friend? Guess not. The blonde chibi devil? I knew that would ring a bell! ... One day before Rima's birthday. What will Nagihiko do?


**A/N: Wasn't going to be a humor … but I thought it'd be really cool if Nagihiko was the untypical flustered type (is he in this fic?) instead of Rima. This is the first one, I think. And don't get me wrong. I don't really have anything **_**against**_** Tadase, but I thought it would add to the humor … so …**

**I don't own Shugo Chara! or Urban Dictionary, to whom I owe the definition of fangirl. Hmm … I think if this would be dedicated to anyone (although it's not supposed to be) it would be dedicated to **Pandabear-36** for the ending of **_Body Swap_**! Weeeee! An awesome Romance/Humor. If she reads this, she can decide if she wants the dedication, because I never asked her. My bad. **

EDIT: Yay! She accepted it! But sadly, it doesn't fit in the summary. Sad right? I think it is.

**Enjoy! Happy early Birthday, Rima! OOC-ness intended … that is if you can find any (?). Maybe Nagihiko really thinks this way?  
**

* * *

Graffiti

February 5th, a rather ordinary day, except that I'm …

TOTALLY. FREAKING. OUT.

Huh? Why? It's obvious isn't it? It's _the Queen's Chair's__birthday _tomorrow. Eh? You don't even know who that is? The Ice Queen? No? Hinamori Amu's best friend? Guess not. The blonde chibi devil? Did that ring a bell? I knew it would.

In other words, _Mashiro Rima's birthday_.

Who am I talking to anyways? It's not like this is a fanfiction and you're all cruelly laughing at my troubles. Ahahaha … ugh. I think I'm starting to go crazy. And at such a great time too … If you couldn't tell that that last remark was sarcastic, then _you _must be going crazy.

Why does it matter that much, you ask? You're as dense as Rima! Don't 'Oh no you di'int me', girlfriend.

It's because I l—because I l—. Stop interrupting me! It's because I lo—like her.

Okay, okay! I'm in denial! I love her. Geez, you don't have to yell and fangirl scream. Trust me, I get enough of that from Saaya. Damn Saaya … We should go throttle her. Eheh. Or slaughter her, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter', _ding_! Sigh, radio jingles …

Heh. I'm so smart.

Oh my god! What am I doing, talking to you? I've got so many things to do! Eh? Like what? Well, y-you know … doing homework … studying … playing basketball … practicing dance … Fine, fine, I have to get her a present, too! Happy?

… What do you mean it's midnight? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN BABBLING FOR HOURS!?!?

I have to think! I have to think!

Girls like flowers , right? Yeah, I know I'm getting desperate here! Deal with it. Oh wait … I thought I saw Rima glaring darkly at the flowerbeds we have to water every day. Okay, so scratch that idea.

Girls like … chocolate, right? She probably won't eat the chocolate if she finds out I touched it though, huh? Ugh …

I am so screwed.

* * *

It's morning now, if you haven't noticed, and I haven't slept at all. Sniff sniff. I think I'm going to cry. Nah. I'll wait until Rima cries when she sees my awesome present and I'll huggle her.

"Teehee, Nadeshiko, YOU'RE SO IDIOTIC!" Temari yelled in that scary, creepy voice of hers.

"Yo, Nagi!" Rhythm said cheerfully, or rather shouted in my ear out of nowhere, "What present are you talking about?" I dropped dead. No, I mean literally, I was sprawled out on the ground and everything. I FREAKING FORGOT THAT I HADN'T THOUGHT OF ANYTHING!

Wait one moment while I go emo in the corner. PLEASE STANDBY.

Okay, I'm back.

What am I going to do? What am I going to do? It's what's her face's birthd—wait … what's her name again? All this stress (pressure) is making me forget. R-, Ri-, R-Ronald! That's it! That's it … right? Anyways, I do remember thinking up one thing last night … Ask Amu! I mean, she _is _her best friend.

Somehow … that idea doesn't seem right.

"OMG! Nagi! You're getting her a present?" Wow, Amu. Spaz out. Because that's _obviously _the right thing to do. Yeah right.

"Yeah …" I muttered, as if she was the insane one. My oh my, why do I sound so refined when I'm speaking?

"Who is purple-head getting a present for?" popped up chibi devil while smirking evilly with that ho—pretty evil smirk of hers.

"I'm getting a present for Ronald, of course!" I bet she's so happy! But instead, her face fell.

"R-right," she said, giving me a strange look before running off with those cute, tiny legs of hers.

"You're so smart, Nagihiko! Way to go! You made her jealous!" Amu cheered, giving me a thumbs-up. Typical of Amu to have three exclamations in one line. Yeesh! My ears are bleeding.

"Huh? What do you mean? I told her I'm getting her a present." God, Amu is so stupid.

She thought for a moment, before slowly saying, "… She's Rima."

I gave strawberry-whatever-her-face-is a blank look.

"Queen's chair? Ice Queen? My best friend?"

I continued to stare at her. Never knew Amu was this hopeless.

"Blonde chibi devil?" she suggested.

"Oh! You should have just said so. Yeah, what about her?"

"It's her birthday today," she responded.

"Well yeah, I know that," I replied happily. I'm so smart.

"Her name's Rima," she carried on bluntly. Oh. Ohhhh. Her name's Rima. Oh yeeeahhhh.

"So … what are you going to get her?" Amu asked, eyes sparkling.

"Well, I was going to ask you …" I trailed off.

"Ehehe! I sense love!" I shook my head around. Where's Eru? Oh … it's just Amu.

"Hmm …" she began, stroking her chin like an old man with a goatee. Or a goat with a goatee. Either one is fine with me.

"Flowers …?" Amu continued, blinking.

"I thought of that already," I responded impatiently.

"Oh … uhh … chocolate?" Been there, done that. I yawned. Did you know that yawning=giving oxygen to your brain!? So don't restrict it, when I'm talking to you, and you get bored. Just go ahead and yawn.

"Oh! What about a big, white dress, and a diamond ring?" she asked excitedly. I'm 12, Amu, if you've forgotten. 12! Well, it's not like I don't want to get married, have twins, and be her hubbie, but really.

Never mind, Amu. And I walked away, hearing her mutter things like 'crazy' and 'weird'. Is she talking about Tadag—Tadase?

So then I walked over to Tadag—Tadase.

"Hey, Tadag—Tadase! What is it about Tsukiyomi that makes you like him so much?"

Tadag—Tadase blushed. Aww … not. Really, _really_, CREEPY.

"Well … he's really handsome … and you know … I like how he can be bad …" _she_ said, sighing dreamily.

Well, I know I'm never talking to _her _again.

I. Just. Thought. Of. The. Best. Idea. Ever. And I thought it up all by myself, too! I'll be bad for a day! How hard can it be? And Ikuto's so popular! Amu, Utau … Tadag—Tadase. I mean, that's three girls right there!

There was this really loud sound, and I was waiting for the standard, and absolutely AWESOME, 'Put your hands up!' You know? Like in CSI? Yeah … **(A/N: Lol. I believe in coincidences now. You might know what I'm talking about …)**

It's just the bell though. But this is my perfect chance!

I sat outside the classroom door, hunched over near the dark corner.

"Why hello, little mushrooms! Why do you look so emo?" I asked the decaying rotten mushrooms growing on my arms, at which Amu walked by, muttering things like 'freaky' and 'stalker'. Is she talking about Ikuto?

A moment after the door closed, and I repeat, like less than a second, I burst through the door loudly … except that it was locked. I never knew that the door was one of those automatically locking doors! Cool …

So I waited for the teacher, feeling totally smart. When the door opened, I made my grand entrance, you know? The whole 'justice-superhero-thingy' pose, and the trademark 'You're beyond redemption!' Sigh … those would be the days.

"You're late, Nagihiko," said the substitute teacher in a Yaya-ish voice. I SWEAR HE IS A WOMAN. I SWEAR HE IS A WOMAN.

"Sorry Tsukasa. But I don't really care about what you think." Let's see what you say to that one. Ha!

"That's okay, Nagihiko! Do sit down, though, please. That's it, that's it." First of all, Tsukasa, I think I know how to sit down. Other than that, there's nothing I have to say … but … NO DETENTION? No nagging? Nothing? But Rima does it all the time! Oh, and Amu! And my mother …

Tsukasa closed the door again and right away, it was timidly knocked with girly hands.

Tsukasa _opened_ the door again looking very irritated, if I might add, and there stood a red-faced Tadag—Tadase.

"S-sorry Tsukasa-san," he stuttered in a girly voice.

"That's Tsukasa-_sama_ to you, Tadagay!"

"Yes, Tsukasa-sama!" he shuddered, almost crying while skipping his girly skip towards his desk. Suck it up, princess. Or prince. I wonder what he would do if I said that aloud … Heh.

"Detention after school!" yelled Tsukasa, smirking, looking like he just won the 'Bully Tadagay 1st place Award'. Sorry to say this (not really), Tsukasa, but that medal is reserved for the one and only Ikuto-cat-boy-hybrid.

Either way, I glared at Tadag—Tadase and he shivered. Why does he get detention?

Anyways, right after Tadag—Tadase sat down, _my _Rima came through the door. That means that when I was late, she wasn't even here. Boo hoo. Stay strong, Nagi. I promised myself that I was going to wait until Rima-chan cried.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she said in that melodically pleasant voice of hers. Like the sweet sound of wedding bells. _Bells_. Bells only. That's what I meant. Not wedding. _Just _bells.

"Oh, that's okay, Riri-tan," Tsukasa, who I am quite sure is a girl, said, ushering her towards her seat. I'm the only one that calls her Riri-tan! I glared at Tsukasa too, and he had a similar expression to Tadag—Tadase.

"And on with the lesson …"

* * *

So … my first attempt at being 'bad' didn't work. But now it's lunch! All the drama happens in the cafeteria, right?

So, you know what I did? I bet you don't know what I did.

I punched Tadag—Tadase in the you-don't-know-where … or do you?

I continued to kick him mercilessly as he lay on the ground, twitching.

I turned to look at the substitute lunch lady, smirking, to see her reaction.

Oh my god. It's her. Huh? You don't know who I'm talking about? But you just met her. No, it's not some weird OC … whatever that is. Like I said before, it's not like this is a fanfiction and you're laughing at my problems … right? Anyways, I'm really talking about—

"T-Tsukasa … help … me … please?" Tadag—Tadase stuttered. I kicked him harder, because he interrupted my, way more important, thoughts and he whimpered like the little girl he is.

Tsukasa fangirl (the definition being something along the lines of 'a rabid breed of the _female_ species') screamed, "Go, Nagihiko, go!" seeming oblivious to Tadag—Tadase's plea of help.

"Hey, do you see that girl beating up my nephew? She's a guardian," Tsukasa said proudly to a fellow lunch _lady_.

"Give me a break!" I yelled aggravated, to which Tsukasa happily replied, "Okay!" I meant detention! Give me freaking detention! And I'm a girl! I mean, boy! I'm a boy!

* * *

So it's the end of the day now, if you haven't noticed. Yup, still haven't thought of a present. But luckily, there's still the Guardian's meeting.

"Yo, Guardians!" Kukai called from the entrance of the Royal Garden.

"Souma-kun," I nodded politely.

"Oi! Fujisaki! Utau told me that Hinamori told her that you told Hinamori that you're getting a present for R—."

"Ronald," Rima-chan growled harshly, interrupting Kukai, "Yeah, yeah, we all know. You don't have to announce it to the world!"

She pouted, glaring at me. She's _so_ cute!

"Well, actually, I'm getting a present for y—," I began until Amu thrust her Ikuto-scented hand to my mouth. You want to why I know what he smells like? Oh, well, Tadag—Tadase makes me smell Ikuto's blankets, that, may I mention, he hasn't washed for years, whenever I go to his house.

He says something like, "Take a small whiff! Only a small one!" And then trailing off, whispers, sounding disgustingly possessive, "Now savour it. Savour the scent …" Truthfully, it just smells a lot like dust and … a hint of Tadag—Tadase-ness nowadays (SINCE A LONG TIME AGO).

"So … what are you going to get her?" asked Kukai quietly for someone like him. It was actually just on the verge of yelling. Thankfully, Rima seemed unaware of the conversation, even though Kukai, Yaya, Amu, and I were all huddled on the ground crouching, as Tadag—Tadase looked up in the trees, searching for stalker cat-boy. This is because Tadag—Tadase wants to be the first one to yell, 'Tsukiyomi Ikuto!' as if any of us actually want to. It's only you Tadag—Tadase, it's only you.

"… Do you think she'll want a hammer?" Kukai wondered, looking dead-serious. I considered for a moment, before being interrupted by sugar-head.

"No way!" she practically screamed, or maybe she was just talking, I couldn't tell, "Rima-tan's so sweet! She wouldn't hurt a fly!"

_Splat_. Yeah, you heard right. _Splat_.

We all stared at Rima, waiting for an explanation, except Tadag—Tadase, who was still staring up at the trees for Ikuto, who is probably staring at Amu, who is still staring at Rima.

"Sorry, there was a fly … in my personal space … so I …" cutie said, glaring at the spot where I assume the deceased fly lay.

Rest in peace, little guy, rest in peace.

* * *

So … I'm home now, if you haven't noticed. You don't notice a lot of things.

But while I was walking home, I had the best idea ever!

Graffiti! And it had absolutely nothing to do with the graffiti coincidentally displayed all over town. Nothing at all! I'm so smart …

Well anyways, it's the ultimate bad act! Except, you know … murder, theft, rape … yeah …

Amu says midnight is the most romantic hour … so I'll go then …

"Where are you going, Nagihiko?" my dear, lovely mother asked at 11:30 PM.

"Oh … well … you know …" and then I tied her up and locked her in a closet.

* * *

So … it's 1:00 AM now, if you haven't noticed. Turns out that it took me a while to find Riri-tan's house in pitch-black darkness. Eheh. But I'm finally here!

Okay. So first, I have to open the spray paint, right? I shook it and sprayed, but nothing came out. I turned the nozzle towards me to get a good look at it and, being the awesome genius I am, I pressed it, and red spray paint spewed all over my grand escape costume. You know what I mean? Like all black turtleneck, and all black sweatpants. But really, I only have my school uniform. The sweater's okay … other than the fact that it has white on the inside. And the light blue shorts are pretty close to black, right? Sigh. I applied the spray paint to the side of her house and smiled. I'M SO FREAKING TIRED.

Oh my god! I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding! Oh, never mind. That's just spray paint. Ahaha …

Amu always told me that the princess was in the topmost tower of the castle, so naturally, after I finished the graffiti, I didn't throw the pebbles at the topmost window. Why? Because, one: Rima's not a princess, two: Rima's short little legs can't handle that many stairs, and three: because, sadly, the topmost window was too high for me to hit.

Rima's cute, tiny head popped out of the second highest window. Oho! Proof that she's not a princess. I sound like Nobuko. Scary. It's the lateness. That's it. It's screwing with my head. That's it. That's it.

"Na-Nagihiko?" she hissed, "What are you doing here?"

"I have your present!" I exclaimed smugly.

"Eh? Really? Where?" she asked, perking up.

"Out here. Look further out." Yay! Proof that acting is my forte! She fell for the trick. Literally.

Her petite body came hurtling out of the house, and good-naturedly, I caught her before any damage was done.

"What a damsel in distress," I scolded, before kissing her.

"Happy Birthday, Rima-chan!" I laughed, as she blushed, crying tears of joy.

"N-Nagihiko," she cried.

"Rima!" screamed her parents from one of the windows.

"Nagihiko!" my mother shouted, running from the direction of my home, her kimono looking very tattered. It seems that dance isn't the only Japanese art my mother is trained in.

I chuckled, and Rima giggled as well, as I ran with her in my arms, leaving our screaming parents behind.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me again, but not before saying, "I love you too," after seeing my bad boy graffiti that undoubtedly said:

_Happy Birthday, Rima!  
I love you more than anything!  
_

**

* * *

**

A/N: And there you have it! I'm not sure if you can criticize this. BECAUSE IT'S JUST THAT AWESOME. Just kidding.

**Completed 04/02/10 (February 4, 2010)**

**Published 05/02/10 (February 5, 2010, the day before Rima's birthday)**

**Happy early Birthday, Rima-chan!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Press the button that is **_**already **_**sparkly in my eyes!**


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